Worthy
by Fairyflights
Summary: All his life Loki had struggled to prove his worth to his father. How had it all started? And how would it all end? (A story following the canon closely and straying only at the end)
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Hello everyone! A very merry Christmas to you all. And an advanced Happy New Year wrapped in loads of love and warm wishes. I was hoping to post this story as a new year gift to all my lovely readers and fellow-writers, but I found myself too impatient to wait that long. So here it is. Do read and let me know what you think. I will post the next chapter based on your approval.**_

 _ **Love,**_

 _ **Fairyflights.**_

 **Disclaimer: All original characters and scenes from the movie 'Thor' are express property of Marvel. I only own the story.**

 _ **Enjoy!**_

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Chapter One**

The two boys clattered down the passage, giggling in excitement and racing each other to the Throne Room. They were ecstatic. Today was an extremely special day. Today they were going to visit and explore the renowned and legendary Weapons' Vault. With Father.

'What do you reckon they keep there?' asked Loki, the younger of the two, his feet keeping pace with his brother's.

Thor grinned, thrilled at the possibilities, 'I don't know. Bet there would be dangerous and wicked looking swords and spears and stuff.'

'I can't wait to see!'

'As do I!'

Loki grinned puckishly. 'Last one to the Throne Room is a _sloghump_!' he yelled, streaking past his brother.

Thor laughed, 'Get ready to be the _sloghump_!'

'Hah! Catch me if you can, Brother!'

They darted forward, eager to reach Father, their chatter echoing across the long deserted corridors like a mountain brook rushing and gurgling over pebbles on its way down.

TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL

The Allfather pointed at the ornately carved hammer displayed on the plinth. 'And that is Mjolnir. It is the only relic that was not won in a war.'

'What does it do?' Thor asked, his eyes lit with eagerness. Loki looked up at his father, keen to hear about the famous weapon.

'That, my son, depends upon the person who wields it,' Odin smiled. 'It gives you a choice. Ask it to knock down and destroy – it would do so at your command. However, ask it to build and forge and there is none in the Nine Realms that can do so better than Mjolnir.'

'Where did you find it, Father?'

Odin turned to his younger son. More inquisitive and cautious of the two, Loki showed signs of a level-headedness which Thor lacked. Where Thor was rash, Loki trod with care. Odin laced his fingers and looked into those bright emerald eyes in the flickering lights of the torches lining the walls.

'It was forged from the heart of a dying star, by those renowned Dwarves of Nidalvellir that you have read and heard about in stories and legends. They presented it to Asgard as a gift for bringing peace to the Nine Realms. It is a weapon worthy of a king.'

'Then why don't you wield it, Father?'

Odin chuckled. 'I don't choose to. Gungnir is worthy enough for me. However,' his eyes twinkled, 'the two of you are free to wield it should you choose to do so.'

'Really?' two young voices gasped at him.

'Yes, but not yet.' Odin stepped away, turning to the last relic in the vault.

The two boys continued to gaze at the intrinsically designed knots on the border of the heavy hammer, fascination and awe pouring out from their eyes. It was some time later that they turned and realized that Odin was no longer standing behind them. With one last look at the magnificent weapon they hurried forward to join their father.

TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL

Loki watched his brother grunt and clench his jaws in an effort to swing Mjolnir around. It was heavy. How he could lift the hammer when even Thor was finding it difficult was something beyond him. He swallowed nervously and watched, praying that he would not disappoint Father in the practice ring.

With a mighty roar, Thor clutched the handle and swung it across the field. The hammer flew some distance and landed with a loud thud near Loki's feet. Odin nodded in approval.

Thor paraded proudly towards Loki, sweat soaked and panting. 'Do your best, Brother,' he said, grinning and clapping his back with a calloused hand.

Loki drew in a fortifying breath, closed his eyes and grabbed Mjolnir. It hummed, vibrations travelling through his arms to reverberate in his chest. Its ribbed, solid handle dug into his delicate palms. With all the strength he could master, Loki heaved it upwards. It almost dragged his arms to the ground. Panting with exertion, he made another effort, this time managing to swing it some distance towards Father. Odin nodded again.

'Both of you did well,' he said in his deep rumbling voice. 'But it is enough for one day.'

Thor looked like he wanted to protest, but kept quiet.

Loki blew out a breath of relief in private.

TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL

'Watch this, Father!' Thor's excited voice rang out across the deserted tiltyard. Loki stood beside Odin, his left hand stroking his right arm, his green eyes fixed on his brother.

'I'm watching,' smiled Odin.

Thor screwed up his face in concentration, his arms outstretched as if to catch something in front of him.

For some time nothing happened.

And then slowly a sound like the wind howling during a storm reached their ears. Loki craned his neck to look better only to see Mjolnir flying towards them, rushing into Thor's outstretched fingers. The momentum dragged Thor backyards a few paces, almost toppling him over in the process.

'I did it!' Thor turned his exuberant eyes towards Odin. 'Did you see that, Father?'

'Well done, my son.' Odin clapped, his eyes lighting up in excitement for his eldest. Thor puffed up his chest and grinned, proud of his achievement.

'Father, may I?'

Odin turned at the timid voice. Loki was looking at him expectantly.

'How is your arm?'

Loki flexed his wrist, trying hard to hide a wince. But it had not gone unnoticed.

Odin put his heavy arm on the boy's head. 'It is alright, Loki. You will get plenty of time to practise. Meanwhile, give it time to heal, my son. Or else, your mother would have my head.' His eyes crinkled at the corners.

Thor laughed, throwing his arm around his brother's shoulder. 'C'mon Brother,' he teased, still basking in his success, 'You need some heavy sustenance to gather more strength. Let us go raid the larder. I am starved.'

Loki turned to gaze back at the retreating figure of his father. He had so wanted to show Father how much he had progressed. If only he hadn't slipped and twisted his arm. And now Mother had forbade him to task his injury too much.

Loki exhaled dejectedly and followed his brother inside.

TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL

'Father was saying I've become quite an expert in handling Mjolnir,' boasted Thor in his lofty voice. It boomed through the deathly silent chamber.

'Did he?' Loki casually flicked a page of the book he was reading.

'Yes, now that I can make it come to me without faltering and can fly with its help, perhaps he might even allow me to keep it.'

Loki's eyes stilled mid-sentence. His head came around. 'Did he say that?'

Thor shrugged, giving Loki his signature dazzling grin. 'As good as.'

Loki looked at his brother. His eyes travelled from the tip of that golden mane slowly to the broad expanse of chest right down to the muscled legs. With such a tall and sturdy physique, Thor exuded strength and confidence. The hammer would suit him indeed.

Yes, Loki mused. It would suit Thor rather well.

Loki flashed his brother a quick grin and returned to his book.

'Come now, Brother. Leave all this studying all day and come with us.'

'Where?'

'We are going hunting in the North Mountains. All five of us – Sif, the Warriors Three and I. If you come, it would be like old times again.'

'The Warriors Three?' snorted Loki.

Thor frowned. 'What?'

'Who gave them that name? It sounds funny.'

'I did.' Thor sounded petulant. They kept quiet.

'So are you coming?'

Loki paused in the middle of turning a page, pondered something, decided against the thought and then turned the page over.

'What?' Thor asked again.

'I can't, Brother. I'm busy.'

'Oh come now, Loki,' Thor's voice turned wheedling. 'You have been buried in these boring tomes ever since you returned from Alfheim.'

Loki gave his brother a crooked smile. 'That is because I am serious about my future, dear Brother. Besides, not everyone is the Crown Prince and would be pardoned for neglecting their studies. By the way, aren't we all forbidden to go near the North Mountains?'

'If only they find out.' Thor winked. 'Suit yourself,' he said resignedly, getting up and striding towards the Library doors. 'You are not fun at all.'

Loki waited till the sound of Thor's footsteps faded into the silence. Then he shut the book with a snap and started pacing.

So Father had been following Thor's progress. And he definitely approved of it. Otherwise, Thor would not have so confidently announced that Father would be passing down Mjolnir to him soon.

It didn't mean anything, Loki told himself.

It was just a hammer.

It didn't mean Father was showing favouritism. It could be simply because Thor could handle it better than him. Loki had never denied the fact that Thor had always been the stronger of the two.

Besides what was so special about this weapon? Smashing and knocking down opponents was not his style. That was Thor's.

No. Loki would use subtler means to fight. His strength had always been swiftness and precision.

And moreover, he did not need a stupid hammer to fly. He had his _seidhr_ for that. His _seidhr_ was more powerful and useful than any weapon in the Realm. Surely Father realized that.

It didn't mean anything, he reassured himself.

It was just a hammer.

Nothing more.

TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL

Loki looked down at his newly polished ceremonial armour. It glimmered like a jewel in the flickering light of the torches hung around the chamber. He had chosen this bright emerald fabric for the cloak as it was the same colour as his eyes. The detailing in gold was a tribute to his mother. The glitter of this precious metal reminded him of her golden brown tresses that glistened as they caught the daylight in their depths.

He tugged at the sleeve of his tunic and paced the small antechamber. What if it all went wrong? What if all his well-led plans went astray? _Norns_ , it wouldn't do to lose focus and bungle everything now that he had come this far.

He knew he was acting nervous. And it was _Thor's_ big day. Where was his brother anyway? Loki looked up expectantly at the chamber doors. His brother ought to be here soon.

There was a loud bang as the doors leading to the antechamber burst open. Thor strode forward, grabbing a chalice of wine from a waiting bearer. He downed the drink in a single gulp and smashed it onto the blazing fire lit in the middle, crying in his stentorian voice, 'Another!'

Loki smirked. Trust Thor to make a dramatic entrance.

He silently stepped forward, turning to face the stairs in front as Thor came to a stop beside him, the legendary Mjolnir clutched in his hands. Beyond the stairs the kingdom awaited Thor.

The kingdom and a crown.

'Nervous, Brother?'

Thor laughed arrogantly, trying to hide the fact. 'Have you ever,' he said, turning to face Loki, 'known me to be nervous?'

'Well…there was the time in Nornheim…'

Thor cut across Loki's quip, 'That was not nerves, Brother. _That_ was the rage of battle.'

'Ah yes of course,' murmured Loki teasingly. Such friendly banter was common between the two brothers. Loki savoured every moment of it. It might as well be the last if ever Thor found out what he had done.

No, Loki chastised himself. No, he was doing it for the ultimate wellbeing of the Realm. Thor would understand.

Eventually.

He would need to. He must.

Because Loki could not imagine a life without his brother.

'How else can I have fought a hundred warriors and pulled us out of there?' Thor was arguing.

Loki snapped out of his reverie. Pretending to think, he replied, 'As far as I recall, _I_ was the one who veiled us in smoke to ease our escape.'

Thor scoffed. 'Yes,' he muttered snidely, as another bearer stepped forward with a goblet of wine, 'Some do battles, others do tricks.'

The bearer snorted.

Loki's eyes flashed in anger. Being goodnaturedly picked on by his brother was one thing. Being mocked by a servant, another.

With a quick twist of his fingers he murmured the spell and waited.

The look of puzzlement on the bearer's face soon turned to horror as he watched the wine turn into slithering black snakes. He yelped in fear, dropping the tray in the process.

It clanged to the ground. The goblet clattered away, broken at the stem, spilling its contents on to the polished marble surface where they continued to crawl near their feet.

 _Norns, but the trick never failed to amuse_ , Loki laughed maliciously as the bearer turned his horrified eyes towards him. _Good_ , he thought, _that would teach him to laugh at a prince_.

'Loki,' said Thor, sighing, 'that was just a waste of good wine.'

'Oh it was just a bit of fun. Right, my friend?' his eyes fixed on the bearer momentarily. With a quiet movement of his hand, the slithering creatures vanished.

The bearer, now thoroughly sober, collected the plate and scurried away hastily, throwing furtive looks at the younger prince.

Still laughing at the silliness of the incident, they slowly turned to face the front again. A guard strode forward briskly, held out Thor's ceremonial helmet and then stepped back.

Thor turned the headgear in his hands and swallowed quietly. He _was_ nervous even though he denied the fact, thought Loki. His eyes fell on the helmet. Loki smirked, remembering the millions of times he had teased Thor about it, followed by Thor chasing him through the whole kingdom. It had never ceased to entertain.

'Oooh,' he drawled, sending his brother a sideways glance. 'Nice feathers.'

There was another tight laugh from Thor. 'You don't really want to start this again, do you, _cow_?' His eyes flicked to the two backwards curled wicked looking horns on Loki's helmet.

'I was being _sincere_!'

'You are _incapable_ of sincerity.'

' _Am_ I?'

'Yes!'

Loki paused, gazing at his brother's radiant face. Despite his blustering, despite his arrogance and highhandedness, Thor had never ceased being a brother to him.

A brother and a friend. And Loki felt his heart twinge with guilt at what he had set into motion.

Yet, it needed to be done, and _he_ must be the one to do it. For the good of all. _Someday_ , Loki consoled himself _, someday Thor would understand_.

Someday, his brother would understand and perhaps forgive him. Not that he needed to know at all. Loki smiled slightly, mustering enough courage to meet those cornflower blue eyes.

'I have looked forward to this day as long as you have,' he said, his voice bearing the sincerity he was accused of lacking, guilt rendering it low and soft. 'My brother. My friend.'

Thor's gaze softened. He turned towards Loki.

'Sometimes I'm envious,' Loki continued quietly, 'but never doubt that I love you.' _Never doubt that I want whatever is good for you. Never doubt, even though it seems I am against you. Because I am not. I only wound to heal._

Thor stepped forward and grabbed his brother's neck affectionately, just as he used to do when they were children. His eyes betrayed how much he was affected by his brother's confession.

'Thank you,' he said, a small smile playing on his lips.

They continued to gaze at each other, noting the changes that time had wrought on their faces and their natures. Each gazed into the eyes of the other, marveling how, despite all that, despite the few millennia, the spirit of the young boys still lingered in their depths.

Then the moment was broken. Loki grinned.

'Now give us a kiss,' he joked.

Thor relaxed, laughing lightheartedly at his brother's teasing. 'Stop it!'

TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL

The Asbru Bridge sang under the galloping hooves of the horses, flashing in the multiple colours of the spectrum wherever they touched. The faces of the six riders were grim. They were on a mission. A serious, treasonous mission.

Loki was still reeling under the shock of finding his brother as reckless and foolish as he had been as a boy. He had not expected Thor to propose such a harebrained plan that could not only threaten the peace of the Realm but also be fatal to their lives. And what was more shocking was that Thor did not seem bothered by the fact that he was putting all his friends' lives in danger.

To march off to Jotunheim was not a sport. As Sif had argued and Fandral had agreed, it was forbidden and dangerous. It was not Midgard, where those weak people feared and worshipped them as Gods. It was Jotunheim. The greatest enemy of Asgard.

Loki gulped back the panic rising in his throat and urged his horse faster, pinning all his hopes on the guard he had ordered to notify the Allfather. With any luck, their trip would be called off even before they reached their destination.

They sped across the narrow bridge, the six riders with Thor at the head, galloping towards the Observatory. The vast ocean surged and foamed beneath them. The seagulls glided over the waves, their calls mingling with the roar of the ocean and the sigh of the wind. They could see the Observatory now, standing sentinel at the very edge of the Realm, its golden walls glistening in the light from the North.

Thor disembarked from his snow-white mount, intent on being on his way. Loki saw danger. He leapt from his horse, hurrying to catch up with his brother.

'You leave this to me,' he said, touching his brother's hand lightly.

Thor did not protest.

Heartened, Loki strode forward to face the legendary sword wielding gate-keeper of Asgard, Heimdall. It was rumoured that his golden eyes missed nothing that occurred in the Nine Realms. He could even look into a person's mind. Which was why he was feared by many.

'Good Heimdall,' began Loki, but was cut off by the gate-keeper.

'You are not dressed warmly enough,' Heimdall said, his sharp eyes seemed to be looking straight through Loki.

'Sorry?'

'Do you think you can deceive me?' Heimdall uttered, his low, rumbling voice sounding more threatening and fearful than any battle cry.

Loki faltered, unsure how to continue. 'You must be mistaken, I – '

'Enough,' Thor boomed. Loki fell silent immediately.

His brother stomped forward, as arrogant was only he could be. 'Heimdall, may we pass?'

Loki dreaded this moment, even though he looked upon Heimdall to slow them down. He was hoping that the gatekeeper would detain them long enough for the Allfather to find them. However, the next words from the gatekeeper's mouth shocked him.

'Never,' Heimdall declared, 'has an enemy slipped my watch until this day.' His eyes flicked momentarily towards Loki, as if x-raying his very thoughts. 'I wish to know how that happened.'

Loki drew in a sharp breath. It would not do to be caught now. He needed to shroud his thoughts a little while longer. He did not want to, but revealing his thoughts to the gatekeeper now, now that he was under suspicion could lead to dangerous consequences. Only a little while longer. Then he would reveal everything to the Allfather.

He willed himself to calm down. He was doing it for the good of Asgard.

Loki watched Thor as he requested Heimdall not to reveal their whereabouts till they returned. He prayed the guard would hurry. The fate of the six warriors and the entire realm rested on the guard's shoulders alone.

TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL

The journey back was all a blank. As he stumbled across the threshold of the warm Observatory, Loki blinked, trying to figure out what he had witnessed, what he had felt. Everything was still spinning. It was an illusion, he told himself. It was all a trick of his eyes. It was the battle-rage speaking. And yet it seemed to clear many things that he had found hard to explain himself. He flexed his left hand once again and looked up.

The rest of the group had hurtled forward into the polished floor. Fandral was being half dragged, half carried by Volstagg and Hogan as Sif followed them anxiously.

'Why did you bring us back?' thundered the voice of Thor, as the prince himself strode into the chamber, his grim face intent on the Allfather.

Odin whirled round, his eyes blazing with an anger they had seldom seen in his face. Only a fool like Thor would stand in front of him, arguing, wondered Loki.

'Do you realize what you've done?' Odin spoke in a low, menacing voice. 'What you have started?'

'I was protecting my home,' growled Thor.

'You cannot even protect your friends! How can you hope to protect your kingdom! Get him to the healing room! Now!' he shouted to the other three, indicating an injured and bleeding Fandral. The gatekeeper withdrew, standing guard outside the Observatory.

Thor did not relent. 'There won't be a kingdom to protect if you're afraid to act. The Jotuns must learn to fear me, just as they once feared you.'

Loki gulped, his face ashen. His brother was making everything ten times worse. Nothing seemed to have changed since they were children.

'… _and here we remain as a beacon of hope to the universe.' Odin stepped towards the casket full of swirling blue light. He paused and turned to the two eager faces looking up at him, 'But the day will come when one of you will have to defend that peace.'_

' _Do the Frost Giants still live?' the younger boy asked, his voice laced with fear._

' _When I am king,' his brother looked at him, 'I'll hunt the monsters down and slay them all.' He slashed his hands brashly through the air. 'Just as you did, Father.' His face bore the proud expression of someone who had gotten his answer right._

 _Their father peered down at them with his one good eye. 'A wise king never seeks out war. But,' he paused momentarily, 'he must always be ready for it…'_

The memory stood fresh on Loki's mind, like a scar. Nothing had changed. Thor was still the arrogant, vain ass he used to be when he was younger. He had not heeded the advice and teachings that had been given him all through the centuries. The oaf hardly ever listened. He let his emotions and impulses govern him. Which had seen him plunge headlong into danger and trouble more often than not. And Father had been blinded by his love for his eldest son to see what he was becoming.

Loki swallowed again, trying hard to dislodge the lump that blocked his throat and clawed at his heart.

Thor and Odin were still arguing.

'You are a vain, greedy, cruel boy!' shouted Odin.

'And you are an old man and a fool!'

Time stood suspended.

Thor blinked, realizing too late what he had just said. Loki's eyes swivelled from one to the other.

'Yes,' said Odin quietly, his shoulders suddenly sagging, as if all the weight of the kingdom had become too heavy for him. As if he had just realized something dreadful. 'I was a fool – to think you were ready.'

Loki's heart slammed into his chest. This was not part of the plan! This was not what he had set out to achieve when he had concocted the entire scheme. He stepped forward, wanting to make Odin see reason.

'Father – '

'Hggggnnnnnggghhh,' yelled Odin, arresting Loki on his tracks. He was too livid to be interrupted. He was beyond seeing reason now.

'Thor Odinson,' the Allfather thundered in his imperial voice. He was not father anymore; his voice was that of the Allfather, the king of Asgard, the supreme ruler of the Nine Realms. And there was no mercy in that voice. 'You have betrayed the express command of your king. Through your arrogance and stupidity, you have opened these peaceful realms and innocent lives to the horrors and desolation of war!'

He climbed down the steps, yanking off the seal of honour from Thor's armour. 'You are unworthy of the realms!'

He tore away the red cape in a frenzy of fury. 'You are unworthy of your titles! You are unworthy!' he roared into his son's face, 'Of the loved ones you have betrayed.'

They looked into each other's eyes, old into young. Then with a sharp movement Odin turned away, disappointment evident in his wizened face. He climbed the steps to the portal opener again. With a yank he slid Gungnir into it. It began to emit sparks as the chamber walls began to revolve again.

'I now take from you your power,' he pronounced. Immediately Mjolnir flew out of Thor's clutches. Loki could not stop the gasp that slipped out of his mouth. _No no no no no_ , he thought fervently, _this is not happening, this is not happening_.

But it was.

'In the name of my father, and his father before – ' with a jingling, clinking sound, Thor's armour began to disappear. The scales fell away. The plate on his arms vanished.

'– I, Odin, Allfather, cast you out.' Loki lurched forward, shock and terror flitting across his face as Thor was blasted from his feet and flung through the Bifrost, disappearing to realms unknown.

Rage and guilt warred within Loki. This was not how it should have been. How could Odin be so cruel and harsh when it was all partly his fault?

Loki had tried to warn him multiple times, but the Allfather never had time for the spare. He was too content in his own world, watching his Eldest through rose tinted glasses, blind to all his faults. And now that very arrogance that had dragged Thor to Jotunheim had compelled the Allfather to take a rash decision and exile his own heir.

Odin brought Mjolnir to his lips, almost kissing it, and whispered, 'Whoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall posses the power of Thor.' Then with a mighty fling he sent it hurtling after the banished son.

Loki watched the hammer disappear the same way as his brother had gone, flung into space and speeding towards a fate as yet unknown to all. He felt adrift, like his anchor had been cut loose. The Realm was in the brink of war, possibly with Jotunheim. And now his brother had been banished, who knows where, disgraced in the eyes of the Allfather and stripped of his strength. And he had been left confused as to who he really was.

Loki prayed that Thor would survive wherever he had been exiled, even as his horror-struck eyes swivelled to fix on the Allfather.

He had a score to settle.

TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL

 _To be continued…_

 _ **A/N: In hindsight, I think it wouldn't do to start the new year with tears *am so sorry***_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Hello lovelies! Did you enjoy the first part? Here is the second. There will be just one other part after this.**_

 _ **In the mean time, I would like to thank iibfn, bohumut, K4iba1, Adriene Alexandra and PatchworkReader for following and favouriting my story. This chapter is dedicated to you guys. Hope you like it.**_

 _ **So without farther ado, DIG IN!**_

 **Disclaimer: All original characters of the movie 'Thor' are the express property of Marvel. I just own the story.**

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Chapter Two**

His footsteps were muffled by the silencing spell he had cast around himself. The vault stood silent like a tomb. Everything was as he remembered them. Only one plinth stood empty.

Mjolnir.

…' _It was forged from the heart of a dying star, by those renowned Dwarves of Nidalvellir that you have read and heard about in stories and legends. They presented it to Asgard as a gift for bringing peace to the Nine Realms. It is a weapon worthy of a king.'_

' _Then why don't you wield it, Father?'_

' _I don't choose to. Gungnir is worthy enough for me. However, the two of you are free to wield it should you choose to do so'…_

He urged his feet to move forward. With each step, dread crept up his limbs and crawled under his skin, finally settling like a block of ice in his chest. He felt cold and empty inside. He glanced down at his hands. They were as he always remembered them, pale and smooth, almost like those of a lady.

And yet, and yet –

He had seen with his very eyes.

The marks. The telltale blue.

There was only one way of making sure.

His feet stopped. He stood facing the swirling casket.

… _when touched by unprotected hands, it gives the person a severe frostbite. Only a Jotun can touch it bare-handed…_

His hands slowly rose towards the ornately carved handle. He dreaded what he was doing and yet some part of his brain wanted to see, to be sure, to have some kind of closure. The suspense was too much.

His fingers curled around the cold solid structure. He winced inwardly, waiting for the sharp, sizzling pain.

But it never came.

And he knew. He knew what it meant.

His mind screamed in denial. The ground seemed to slip away from under his feet as he watched the foreign yet somehow familiar icy blue creep up the tip of his fingers and towards his hands and arms.

He grasped the handle more firmly, intent on picking up the casket now. Intent on seeing more.

So it was true.

So he was –

'Stop!' The sharp command halted his thoughts. His vision turned red. Slowly he lowered the cask back onto its plinth. His thoughts clashed and swirled around his head like the blue light swirling agitatedly inside the ice casket.

'Am I cursed?' his voice sounded foreign to his own ears. As if some other being or creature was talking in his stead.

'No,' came the answer, loud and strong.

'What am I?'

He knew. Yet he wanted to hear the truth from the lips of the one who had hidden this hideous fact from him. He knew what he would hear, that it would only deepen the ragged wound forming in his chest. And yet he wanted it. It was like when a person picks at the scabs of a healing wound, knowing well that it would only bleed again if he did so.

There was a pause. A pause that held all his beliefs, his idea of self in suspense. In limbo.

Then –

'You're my son.'

 _Liar_ , hissed the ugly creature that seemed to have newly awakened inside him. Loki slowly turned to face the one he had always called Father. Gazed into the familiar wizened face as his own returned back to pale white, the marks disappearing with each passing instance. His eyes were no longer red. Neither were they dry.

'What more than that?'

Odin hesitated, his eyes showing worry and shame and something close to regret.

But Loki had his answer already. He began stepping towards the sweeping stone stairs where Odin stood, his footsteps slow and deliberate.

'The Casket was not the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?' his eyes bored into Odin's, even as tears sparkled in their depths.

He came to a stop at the foot of the stairs, looking up at where the Allfather stood.

Odin was silent. His head hung low. Then his beard twitched again. 'No.'

'In the aftermath of the battle, I went into the temple and I found a baby,' Odin continued after a pause. 'Small for a giant's offspring. Abandoned, suffering, left to die… Laufey's son.'

Loki's head reeled sideways, out of control. His stomach fell to the bottom of his shoes. He felt nauseated. Of all the shocking things he had heard and seen so far, this was the cruelest.

 _Laufey's son…Laufey's son?_

Oh the irony of it…

'Laufey's son,' he repeated quietly, tasting the name in his tongue, as if prodding a fresh wound to see if it would hurt as much as it did the first time.

It did.

Loki blinked, disoriented with shock and denial, unable to fathom anything clearly.

All this time, the Allfather waited, watched, quietly. 'Yes.'

Loki swallowed. Emotions, a million of them attacked his mind and threatened to drown him. They flashed and assailed his brain, tearing out from his ragged throat the one question that was looming in between them like a huge black wall.

' _Why_?'

Odin remained still.

'You were knee-deep in Jotun blood. _Why_ would you take me?'

'You were an innocent child,' began Odin, but the ugly vicious creature thrashed inside Loki again. _Liar_.

'No,' Loki cut in, his eyes sparkling with tears, 'You took me for a purpose. What was it?'

Silence stretched between them like a vast ocean. It pressed against Loki's chest, squeezing the breath out of his lungs, deafening him. His head buzzed. He could not abide it. He could not abide this suspense.

'TELL ME!' the scream was wrenched out from him, like a cry of pain.

Tears spilled down his cheeks and wet his chin.

Odin's eyes were wary. As if he was looking down at an injured wild animal and was afraid to approach it. Then words started spilling out of his mouth.

'I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day. Bring about an alliance, bring about a permanent peace. Through you.'

It hurt. It hurt. Every pore screamed in agony, thrashed and flailed, trying to deny the truth. The painful, ugly truth. Loki couldn't breathe, his lungs were frozen. He choked, taking short, sharp gulps of air. He did not want to hear it. He did not want to hear anymore.

'What?' he gasped in disbelief.

'But those plans no longer matter,' Odin lowered his eyes, avoiding Loki's gaze.

The creature stirred again, rearing its spiked, hideous head. _No. Don't you dare look away. Don't you dare shy away from your betrayal. Look at me!_

Tears were falling more freely now. Loki could feel them slide down his neck and soak his shirt.

'So I am _nothing_ more than a _stolen relic_ , _locked up_ here until you might have _use_ of me?' his mind whirled.

'Why do you twist my words?' Odin sounded weary. But Loki was beyond cajoling.

He whipped his eyes around, another question forcing its way up to his tongue. 'You could have told me what I was _from the beginning_. _Why_ didn't you?'

Odin's voice softened, turning almost pleading, 'You're my son. I only wanted to protect you from the truth.'

'Why,' stuttered Loki, overwhelmed by warring emotions and fighting for words, 'because I-I am the monster parents tell their children about at night?'

'No. No…'

Memories flashed through Loki's eyes. Memories that seemed insignificant before but that now bore a different meaning. Odin's indifference to his magical abilities…his weakness…the feeling that he didn't seem to belong…the loneliness…the neglect…

They flashed before him like pieces of a giant jigsaw puzzle and fell into place on their own accord.

It all made sense now.

His eyes flashed up again, only to find the Allfather thudding down onto the stairway, looking more vulnerable and fragile than he had ever seen him. Yet it did not melt the ice building around his heart like a wall. He pressed on, seeking to wound, to hurt Odin as much as he was hurting inside.

He lashed out, not bothering to think what he was uttering. He poured his heart out, all the hurt, the neglect that had lain dormant in his chest all through the years, as he had watched Thor being favoured everywhere he went, as he had felt the disappointment in Odin's face when he had failed to impress him with his magic. It all added up to one thing. That he was never the son he had thought himself to be. He had always, always been the outsider. A crow in borrowed feathers. That he never really had a chance to be like Thor.

He roared and he raged. And when he finally stopped, feeling drained and worn, the sight of the Allfather, lying still as death on the stone steps robbed him of his breath.

What had he done? _What had he done?_

His fearful eyes watched and his heart threatened to break his ribcage as one hand stretched out to touch the gnarled fingers.

They were still, but warm.

Slightly relieved, he sank down beside his father and shouted for help.

As six guards rushed in, and clattered up the steps, carefully bearing their ruler's unconscious figure to the sleeping chambers, Loki looked around at the vault, at the slanting walls that met at the top, the flickering, dancing lights and the pulsating blue flame at the end of the aisle.

Silence engulfed everything once again.

And in this profound silence Loki realised something that set his heart beating madly against his ribcage.

That he was truly and utterly alone.

TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL

Loki paced in his chambers, the hem of his black riding coat rustling against his knees. The night sky shone with a quiet light from the North. Clouds of purple, brown and green swirled by, stars glittering in their depths like glass splinters caught in a multicoloured fabric. A cool wind blew from the sea.

The peaceful scene clashed with the turmoil going on inside Loki's mind.

He sensed the resentment of all the courtiers, like needles in his back. They threw baleful glances his way whenever he was not looking. He knew that Lady Sif and the Warriors Three were thinking of rebelling against him. He knew they hated to see him on the golden throne, holding the spear of his father.

But he was innocent in all this. He had not snatched Gungnir from his father's slack hands. He had not climbed up the golden steps and claimed the throne for his own. He had most definitely not asked to be proclaimed king. It was his mother who had handed him the scepter, the symbol of power, calmly asking him to fill in for his father. And he had been unable to refuse.

Yet it was ironic, wasn't it? Thor, who had been so eager to be king, almost clamouring after the title, had been banished, whereas he, who had never hunkered after that kind of power, knowing the responsibilities accompanying them, had been practically handed over the kingdom in a silver platter. Did it signify that he was worthy after all?

Loki snorted at the ridiculousness of it all. Of course not.

Circumstances.

Circumstances had forced him to take up the mantle of king. Nothing else.

He looked back on the evening he had sat watching his father. Odin's figure had been covered with the sheen of sleep. He had looked down into the wrinkled face and wondered what more secrets he had been keeping from his sons.

' _So why did he lie?'_

And his mother, sitting across from him beside the other side of Father, had smiled and replied in the soothing tones that had always managed to calm his tantrums in childhood.

' _He kept the truth from you so that you'd never feel different. You are our son, Loki,' she said, leaning slightly towards him, 'and we, your family.'_

Those words had slightly assured him, even as he had kept his face impassive. It had, however, not been enough to sooth the raging emotions within him – sadness, anger, a sense betrayal.

Loki sucked in a breath of fresh air. He replayed the words his mother had uttered about Thor repeatedly in his mind…

' _But what hope is there for Thor?'_

' _There's always a purpose to everything your father does.'_

So there was still hope for Thor. But would he have learnt the lesson Father had wanted him to by the time he returned? Loki doubted that.

No, he thought as he paced his chambers furiously. No, he would have to do something himself. He would have to ensure that Thor would stay put where he has been exiled until Loki had rescued the kingdom from the jumble his rash brother had left behind.

And soon.

TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL

Shrouded in the veil of invisibility, Loki watched the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents as they escorted, almost dragged Thor into the safety of the plastic tunnels. They marched him down long, low passageways dotted by fluorescent lamps, their footsteps ringing on the metal footboards.

They turned down a small lit room and climbed a set of stairs, frog-marching Thor between them. Then quickly down another lamp-lit plastic tunnel and finally into the main compound. The air inside was slightly warmer than the outside. The whole place smelled of sterile disinfectants and chemicals. Computers buzzed, transmitting signals and data to other sources as technicians and scientists walked around, discussing and puzzling the strange incident that had just happened.

Loki understood what had happened.

Stripped of his strength and deemed unworthy in the eyes of the Allfather, Thor had not been able to pick up Mjolnir. And it had broken his spirit completely. Loki had felt his heart give a little at the pathetic and hoarse howl that had been torn from his brother's throat as he had crashed to the muddy, slippery ground, finally defeated.

But this was not the time for emotions to govern his actions. He must forget his heart and think with his head.

He set out in pursuit.

The agents had detained Thor in a bare room. It was entirely lit with the same sterile white lights that dotted the campus. The effect was almost blinding. There was no furniture inside except a chair that Thor occupied. He sat slumped forward, his shoulders drooping, his eyes downcast. He swallowed from time to time.

Loki stepped forward, intent on getting this whole thing over with. Then he jerked back.

A short, shrewd-faced agent had walked into the room. He must be the head of the agents, surmised Loki. He had observed the man issuing orders with a strange apparatus held to his mouth during the skirmish. Coulson, they had called him.

Loki waited outside, getting impatient by the minute. He had not much time to spare. Besides, he did not want to linger. He was not sure the spell he had cast to shroud himself from the all-seeing eyes of Heimdall would hold much longer. He waited outside, tapping his foot impatiently.

The agent was still questioning Thor, who sat stony faced, unwilling to meet the agent's eyes.

This was getting irritable, Loki thought. He drew in a breath and muttered a spell. Suddenly the pager inside Coulson's pocket went off. The man drew it out, gazed at it, muttered something to Thor and walked out.

Loki seized the chance.

As the door swung shut, he threw off the veil of invisibility, and stood before his brother.

Thor looked up. And froze.

'Loki! What are you doing here?'

Loki hardened himself. Thor would understand later why he was doing all this.

'I had to see you,' he replied quietly.

Thor paused, looking worried. 'What's happened? Tell me. Is it Jotunheim?' He leaned forward, pleading. 'Let me explain to Father.'

'Father is dead.' Loki almost bit his tongue uttering that lie. But there was no other way.

Thor's face registered blank shock.

'What?' he managed to whisper eventually.

'Your banishment, the threat of a new war, it was too much for him to bear…'

Thor mouthed wordlessly, searching for something to say, too overwhelmed by the dreadful news. Loki hurried on.

'You mustn't blame yourself. I know that you loved him. I tried to tell him, but he wouldn't listen.'

A lone tear slid down his brother's eye and clung to his eye lashes. He was trying hard not to scream, beat his chest, cry out in remorse. And Loki felt each suppressed emotion pierce his chest. _Sorry Brother_ , he muttered inside his mind. _Sorry that I have to do this to you_.

He pressed on. 'It was so cruel to put the hammer within your reach, knowing that you could never lift it.'

'The burden of the throne has fallen to me now.'

Thor looked up at that, a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

 _Please don't say it Brother_ , Loki thought fervently. _Please don't make me deny you_.

'Can I come home?'

Loki sighed inwardly, his throat refusing to unclog. 'The truce with Jotunheim is conditional upon your exile.'

'Yes, but couldn't we find a way –'

'And Mother has forbidden your return,' cut in Loki. He couldn't prolong this torture any longer. Uttering those lies has drained him somehow.

'This is goodbye, Brother. I am so sorry,' he wanted to pour all his apologies into those four insignificant words. But he knew it would never be enough.

Thor straightened, his face taking on a majestic expression, that of a true prince of Asgard. 'No,' he muttered softly. ' _I_ am sorry.'

He swallowed again, searching for words. 'Thank you for coming here.'

Loki gazed long into the face of his brother. 'Farewell,' he said at last, trying to dislodge the lump in his throat.

Thor inclined his head slightly, mute in his agony and despair.

With a last lingering look, Loki turned away.

There. That would ensure Thor wouldn't want to try other ways to get back any sooner. By then Loki would have brought back peace to the Realm Eternal. Perhaps by then Odin would have awakened and recalled Thor home. And perhaps then, the Allfather would accept Loki as a worthy son. Perhaps.

A thought struck him.

He turned his feet towards the crater outside the complex. Shrouded in invisibility once again, he walked the distance. He could sense the faint vibrations coming from Mjolnir. Tendrils of magic that beckoned to him.

Technicians crowded the closely guarded area. Some were taking readings with strange, elongated sticks that buzzed and crackled, while others consulted charts and discussed the matter. He stepped forward onto the sludge. The hammer stood half- buried in a piece of rock.

With a pounding heart Loki seized the handle and pulled.

It did not budge.

He yanked at it harder with both hands, gritting his teeth.

Nothing.

Loki snorted silently. Of course. He had not expected otherwise.

He glimpsed up at the cloudy sky, wondering if Heimdall had caught this small episode at all. Hopefully he hadn't.

Loki wrapped his coat snugly around him, turned and walked out of the compound.

TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL

Loki once again stood at the threshold of the Observatory, his green cloak fluttering behind him impatiently. And this time too, the golden eyes of Heimdall were fixed coldly on him. He smirked. He had felt Heimdall's gaze burn a hole on his back all the way down in the cold, hard, frozen ground of Jotunheim. That's why he hadn't bothered to cover his tracks. He had taken the familiar way home. The Bifrost gate still spun behind him.

'What troubles you, Gatekeeper?' he sneered.

Heimdall refused to take his eyes off of him. 'I turned my gaze upon you in Jotunheim, but could neither see you nor hear you.'

 _Thank the Nine Realms for that_ , thought Loki. Otherwise he would have been hanged, drawn and quartered by now for what he was planning.

'You were shrouded from me, like the Frost Giants that entered this realm.'

Loki sauntered forwards. 'Perhaps your senses have weakened after your many years of service.'

'Or perhaps someone has found a way to hide that which he does not wish me to see,' countered the formidable gatekeeper.

Loki changed tracks, continuing to circle the raised dais. 'You have great power, Heimdall. Did Odin ever fear you?'

'No,' Heimdall replied.

'And why is that?'

'Because he is my king and I am sworn to obey.'

'He was your king,' Loki swooped in. 'And you're sworn to obey _me_ now. Yes?'

The gatekeeper remained silent, his gaze fixed on Loki's face. After ages, he unlocked his jaws. 'Yes.'

Loki had heard whatever he had wanted to hear. 'Then you will open the Bifrost to no one until I have repaired the damage that my brother has done.' He hurried away, striding towards the Asbru Bridge and the twinkling city that lay on its other side.

He needed to prepare. He had royal guests to entertain.

TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL

Cold fury burned in Loki's chest. He had trusted Heimdall. He had _trusted_ him.

And Heimdall had gone and done the one thing he had been forbidden to do. He had dared to commit treason. He had dared to open the Bifrost, when his king had specifically instructed him not to do so. Loki had watched with his own eyes the flashing beam of the Bifrost shoot into the universe only moments ago.

Well, this called for drastic measures.

Loki's feet slapped on the hard stone steps as he hurried down, down into the very heart of the palace. To the weapons' vault. He knew what he had to do. And he could not let a mere gatekeeper disrupt his well laid plan. Not now that he had come this close to success.

He quickened his pace. The ornate doors to the chamber loomed. With a silent wave of his hands he threw the doors open. The smooth floor echoed his footsteps into the eerie silence.

There. At the end of the aisle. Where the ice casket stood.

He hurried forward, his cloak trailing behind him noiselessly.

Taking a deep breath, he gripped Gungnir and stamped it on the floor. The thud ricocheted across the room. Loki waited with bated breath.

Then the metal grills began to retract, leaving a wide open space. And from it emerged a giant silhouette.

The Destroyer.

Its featureless face turned to Loki, awaiting instructions.

'Ensure my brother does not return…destroy everything.'

The Destroyer bowed its head in acknowledgement.

TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL

'Brother, whatever I have done wrong to you, whatever I have done to lead you to this, I am truly sorry.'

The familiar deep voice of his brother reached Loki's ears. He was looking down at Thor through the eyes of the Destroyer. All round Thor the little town lay in ruins. The Destroyer had seen to that. Black smoke billowed from many a building, curling up to mix with the strong rays of the sun. Cars lay on their sides, crumpled like toys. The whole area was deserted, except for the four Asgardian warriors and the three Midgardian scientists. And Thor.

Loki stroked his mouth with his fingers, wanting to see where this would lead to. What his oaf of a brother had in mind.

'But these people are innocent. Taking their lives would earn you nothing,' continued Thor.

Loki rubbed his lips thoughtfully. He was astonished, to say the truth. He had not expected his brother to realize this fact so quickly. Thor had grown in the past few days, which translated to a few months in Midgardian chronology. It seemed only yesterday that he was bent on destroying the whole race of Jotunheim. What would he do, once he realized that his own brother was the monster he had once vowed to hunt down and slay, mused Loki.

And all the time the Destroyer was advancing towards his brother. They came to a stop in the middle of the square.

'So take mine,' said Thor, looking up at the faceless steel mask of the Destroyer. 'And end this.'

Loki felt a familiar twinge of guilt shoot through his heart. His hand crashed onto the arm of the golden throne.

The Destroyer stopped, its open maw closing up. It paused. Then slowly turned away, as if accepting Thor's surrender graciously.

The blow came out of the blue.

The shock had propelled Loki down the steps. _Nooooo_ …What if – ? What if Thor was fatally wounded? What if the Destroyer had misunderstood what he had instructed?

Thor crashed to the ground, his face bloodied and bruised.

 _Please let him live, please let him be alive_ , Loki prayed fervently.

The tiny Midgardian had flung herself onto his chest. She was shaking him, urging him not to give up.

Loki's eyes began to prickle. He turned away from the scene, intent on hiding his face.

And then something stopped him on his tracks.

A whooshing. A streaking flame across the sky.

Mjolnir.

Rushing, flying through the air, hurrying towards its worthy master at last.

Loki blinked, trying to comprehend the entire situation.

 _Helheim and all its hideous demons_ , his mind screamed. His entire plan was backfiring. He had not seen this coming! This meant only one thing. That Thor had proved his worthiness and would soon return to Asgard. Which meant – he did not have time!

He knew the time of confrontation was drawing near. Knew that Thor would be hunting him down once he found a way to get back.

He hurried away towards the palace gates, calling for his horse. He needed to get to the Observatory.

The time had come for his plans to be set into action at once.

TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL

It had happened as he had feared. Thor had burst into the chambers, confronting him just when he was reassuring his mother that everything would be alright; that Laufey was dead by his hands and the rest of them would pay for what they had done.

Thor had burst in. Demanding that Loki tell her how he had sent the Destroyer after his own brother to kill him.

If only he knew. If only he understood why Loki had done all this, how he had faced one betrayal after the other in a bid to save Asgard from the brink of war. And how, despite all difficulties, he had been able to prevent the war after all.

Did they not realize that? Did they not see? What he had done? What he had sacrificed?

But Thor did not have the brains or the patience to understand them.

And so they fought. In the Observatory. As the Bifrost built and built. Ripping Jotunheim apart.

'You cannot kill an entire race, Brother,' Thor bellowed.

Loki's voice turned silky and menacing. 'Why not?'

Madness flowed through his veins. He wanted to laugh maniacally. Thor, the advocate of the Jotuns? Thor, the savior of other races? It was a laughable notion indeed.

And it was the truth.

That after all this time, Thor indeed had proved to be the worthy one! That Odin had seen the glimmer of hope all along and chosen correctly! So was Odin also right about him? About the one he had adopted? Had he hid Loki's ancestry to keep him from turning into one of the monster that he had descended from?

Well, perhaps it was too late now.

Jealousy and anger stole through his veins like fast acting poisons. And now Loki was blinded, deaf, fighting his own demons and his own brother.

'I have changed.'

'So have I,' countered Loki. 'Now fight me.'

And he dashed the spear across his brother's face.

The clash of the weapons echoed through the chamber. The two brothers grappled with each other, trying their best to overpower the other. But this was no friendly skirmish of childhood. This was a fight for what was right. And what was wrong.

Thor flew towards the prone body of Loki, intent on smashing him with Mjolnir. At the last moment, Loki snatched up the royal scepter and blocked the blow.

BOOM.

They were blasted out of the Observatory, flung onto the rainbow bridge. Loki rolled off towards the edge.

Thor stood up, looking. His brother hung onto the edge of the bridge, his eyes afraid, his voice pleading.

'Brother, please.'

And the mighty Thor, the _worthy son_ knelt down to help his errant brother up. Worthy but dimwitted, snorted Loki in his mind.

Thor grasped the hand. It disappeared. Loki disappeared.

Thor whirled round. And was met with the sharp point of the spear, Loki laughing maniacally from the other end.

He was flung on his back. And all round him more and more Loki popped up, looking down at him and laughing in their united voices.

'Enough.' The roar rang out.

Thunder slammed into Mjolnir.

And the real Loki fell over, stunned at the impact.

Thor got up slowly, walked up to where his brother lay spread-eagled on the Asbru Bridge.

Loki watched Thor, his eyes betraying the fear of the next blow. But it never came. Instead –

Thor deliberately placed Mjolnir on the middle of his brother's chest. Then calmly turned and walked towards the raging, spinning Observatory.

That was a harder blow than Loki had expected. The fact that he could not budge the hammer from his chest spelled out how unworthy he still remained despite doing everything for the benefit of the Realm.

He grunted and cursed, yelling at Thor, who was intent on reaching the Observatory. But Thor was oblivious to it all.

The Observatory was now aglow with the power surging through the Bifrost. It sucked in almost everything, churning the air around it into a whirlwind. Thor kept stepping forward, as it spun like a top. His feet slid across the rainbow tiles as the wind rushed and howled around him.

Loki continued to curse and yell.

'Look at you…the Mighty Thor…with all your strength, and what good does it do you now, huh?'

Thor did not answer.

'Do you hear me, Brother? There's nothing you can do!'

Loki watched Thor pause. Perhaps now he would see that it was all futile, that the Bifrost could not be stopped now. It was too late. Perhaps now his brother would surrender to the in evitable.

But what is this? What was Thor doing?

Loki narrowed his eyes. Thor seemed to be standing in the middle of the bridge, his arm stretched back, waiting.

Suddenly the weight pinning Loki to the ground disappeared. He looked up. The hammer was flying towards the outstretched arms of his brother.

Thor clutched it, hesitating for a nanosecond. The next he smashed it onto the surface of the glittering Asbru Bridge.

Loki was struck dumb.

' _What are you doing_?'

Realisation dawned. Loki's eyes widened in shock.

Thor paid no heed. Again and again Mjolnir smashed onto the bridge. Deep cracks began to appear on the once indestructible bridge.

'If you destroy the bridge,' Loki screamed, trying to deter Thor, 'you'll never see her again.'

But his brother seemed deaf to his pleas.

Loki snatched up the fallen spear, making a last effort to stop Thor. He sprinted towards his brother, Gungnir raised, just as Mjolnir crashed.

The bridge exploded. They were flung into space, like rag dolls in the hands of naughty children.

For a moment, time stood suspended.

And then they began to fall. Down down, towards the abyss below, where the black, foaming sea fell off the edge of the Realm.

Loki flailed his free hand, trying to grasp anything within reach. He fell past the jagged end of the destroyed bridge.

His hand connected with one end of the scepter.

Thor was clutching at the other end.

They were falling, the two brothers, together, into a sure death, holding the only thing that had come between them. Loki saw the horror in his brother's eyes, even as he knew it was reflected in his eyes as well. This was it. This was the end.

At the last moment Thor's leg was snatched up by Odin. And they hung over the abyss. Suspended in space, a tiny bit of fabric anchoring them there.

Loki could feel his sweaty hands slip down the smooth handle of the spear.

He turned his tear-streaked face to Father. Perhaps _he_ would understand why Loki had done all this. Perhaps now he would recognize his son's efforts.

Loki gazed into the wrinkled lines of his father's face.

'I could have done it, Father.' His voice rang out like a child's. Pleading. Entreating. 'I could have done it. For you. For all of us.' His voice choked on the last words.

He waited eagerly. For the words that would assure him, that would calm his roiling thoughts.

But they never came.

Loki continued to gaze into the stoic face of Odin. And all the memories came rushing back. All his well-laid plans, his hardwork and intellect, everything rushed back like deluge, and then…

'No, Loki.'

…everything scattered like a house of cards. In a tremendous jolt of pain, Loki realized that he would never be worthy. Never be given that which he most coveted. A place in his father's heart. As a true son like Thor. He would always remain the runt, the weak adopted pet that Odin had taken pity on.

All hope died in his eyes, snuffed up like the flame of a candle. This was more painful than annihilation. He could not live with the disappointment of the one whom he always wanted to please. Death was better.

The last bit of warmth in his heart hardened into ice.

And so he let go.

TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL

 _To be continued…_

 _ **Please, please, please review! It helps me a lot to stay focused!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: Hi everyone! This is the second last chapter of the story and I am already feeling sorry that it is coming to an end. It has been a great journey with all you lovely readers. I had to break the chapter into two as it was quite long. I hope you like this one. I had wept whilst writing this.**_

 _ **To PS I'm human, Dora Malena and water lily in Clearwater, a huge thank you for sticking with the story. Love you guys.**_

 **Disclaimer: All original characters of the movie** _ **Thor**_ **are the express property of Marvel. I only own the story, and the lullaby.**

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Chapter Three**

His throat felt raw. He could taste blood on his tongue. His eyes felt like sandpaper, itching and swollen. And red.

Loki took a shaky breath and tried to look around. Everything was gone. The chairs were upturned. The table lay on its side, three legs missing. The books were scattered all over the place. Pages flew around like dead leaves, rustling in the deafening silence. The fruits rolled about, so out of place in this cold, sterile chamber. His prison.

Loki turned his head. It hurt. He hurt all over. Why was he hurting all over?

He squinted up at the sharp light in the cell. It felt too bright. What had happened? Why was he on the floor?

He tried hard to remember. Everything felt pitch dark inside his mind. Only flashes of horrific scenes teased and tortured his brain. He groaned.

He placed his palm on the chilling floor, propelling himself to a sitting position. The hard stone wall pressed onto his back, supporting him. He took another laboring breath and wiped his mouth. His palms burnt. He looked down at them.

They were raw and bleeding. His nails were broken. His wrists ached. _He_ ached all over. The once slicked back hair now fell around his face in grizzled matted curtains.

He had been screaming, struggling, scrambling to wake up from this bad dream, this nightmare. He had been calling for his mother. So sure she would sooth him back to sleep with her sweet voice, as she always did when he was a child.

But she had not come.

Why hadn't she come? She was supposed to come and sooth him. She had never ever neglected him like that. Even during his captivity, she had found a way to reach out to him.

 _Then am I not your mother?_

 _You're not…_

 _Then am I not your mother?_

 _You're not…_

 _You're not…_

 _You're not…_

His chest suddenly felt tight. He couldn't breathe. He tried to gulp in some air and force it down his throat. It was agony.

 _Then am I not your mother?_

 _You're not…_

It had all come back to him in a flash. The prison break. The riot. And at the end of the day, a cold message from the Allfather delivered by one of the guards in a clipped and precise manner. No emotions, no sympathy. Just a plain fact.

As if he meant _nothing_ to them.

As if _she_ meant nothing to _him_.

Loki grabbed his head, squeezing his eyes shut till they hurt. He was sleeping. He was sleeping. And this was all a nightmare. _Please tell me it's just a nightmare_.

No one answered. The silent walls stood sentinel to his grief. Big, fat tears rolled down his cheeks. His entire being shook with suppressed sobs. He _couldn't_ breathe. _He couldn't breathe._

'Mama!' he howled. The cracked, scratched sound continued to echo faintly through the cell long after he had abandoned hope of a reply – of his mother's sweet voice calling out to him, consoling him.

With jerky movements he sat up straighter, his left leg stretched out and the right folded underneath. The chamber was deathly quiet. Silence seemed to engulf his every breath and wrap it within itself, drowning any sound.

It was suffocating. It was killing him.

 _You might want to try the stairs to the left…_

 _You might want to try the stairs to the left…_

 _You might want to try the stairs to the left…_

 _You're not…_

 _Then am I not your mother?..._

 _You're not…_

 _You're not…_

 _You're not…_

He screamed, his hands hankering to claw at something, like it was clawing at his heart. Funny. He had imagined he had no heart left to grieve or rejoice. How wrong he was. She had died and it had been his fault. And he was feeling the pain with each breath he took, with each moment he existed.

More tears leaked. He had not the strength to wipe them. They fell, burning a path down his bruised cheeks. He took a slow breath and closed his eyes again.

He began to hum. An old, long forgotten tune that had once been his favourite. That once his mother used to sing to him to lull him to sleep. It was something that she always did when he was agitated.

 _Hush, sweet one. The night is here,_

 _Dark her cloak a-creeping near._

 _With honey dreams and tippy-toes,_

 _Whisp'ring, whisp'ring as she goes,_

' _Close thy sparkling precious eyes;_

 _Chase thou stars and sail the skies._

 _Sail thy dreamboat until dawn._

 _Slumber on! O slumber on!'_

He swallowed with difficulty, wet his chapped lips and began again.

 _Now that Day is long since past._

 _Now thy eyelids droop at last._

 _Sleep thou as the gentle breeze_

 _Murmurs through the swaying trees,_

' _Close thy sparkling precious eyes;_

 _Chase thou stars and sail the skies._

 _Sail thy dreamboat until dawn._

 _Slumber on! O slumber on!'_

All through, his eyes shed tears, dripping through his chins into his already soaked undershirt. His armour was gone. What need did he have with armour now? What reason did he have to stay alive? She was gone, somewhere from whence there is no return. She would no longer pester him with questions, no longer talk to him with her soothing tones, no longer walk into his illusions and tease him about them. She was, she was…

Loki gripped his hair in his hands, his chest felt like it was on fire and he was screaming inside his head, unable to go on. _Oh please let me die. Please let me die so that she can come back_.

But he knew that was not how it ever worked.

Taking shuddering breaths, he swallowed again and started humming the next verses…

 _Round thee gentle arms be prest;_

 _Lie thou on thy mother's breast,_

 _Softly, softly as she croons_

 _A song of old, an ancient tune—_

' _Close thy sparkling precious eyes;_

 _Chase thou stars and sail the skies!_

 _Sail thy dreamboat until dawn,_

 _Slumber on! O slumber on!'_

He could not go on. He couldn't sing. That music was worse torture than when he had fallen into the abyss. It reminded him each second that his mother had died while he lived, while he sat in this suffocating prison, unable to do anything. While he proved his worthlessness…

Footsteps.

The spell was cast like a gag reflex. His pride was still there. He did not want anyone to see him like this, the broken remains of a former prince, like a magnificent castle in ruins.

Loki sat still, propped up against the wall, listening to the tapping of boots on the cold floor. And all this time the illusion walked about like his former self – conniving, hurtful and silver-tongued, seeking to wound with words, pacing around the periphery of Loki's vision.

The footsteps were not the measured, precise ones of the guards. These were forceful, arrogant, almost thunderous, like that of someone with authority.

 _Thor_.

Loki would recognize his brother's steps anywhere. His lips curled upwards slightly. After all this time…

But he wouldn't let anyone, not even his brother, see his true self. So he waited. And the illusion waited too, prowling like a caged tiger, impatient and vicious enough to maul someone.

The footsteps stopped in front of his cell. And Loki heard his alter-ego mouth the words that he had longed to ask his brother.

'Thor. After all this time. And now you come to visit me. Why?' The fake Loki paused, bending to glare at his brother. 'Have you come to gloat? To mock?'

'Loki, enough,' the deep voice of his brother rang across the tomb-like dungeon. 'No more illusions.'

Loki's shock was registered on the face of his alter-ego, as the outer veneer dissipated to reveal the rubble within.

Had Thor come here to comfort him when he needed it most, even though he was too proud to admit it? Had Thor come to take his mother's place and be the big responsible brother who had wiped away tears and fought back bullies for Loki in his childhood? Had he seen through all his little brother's tantrum's and found the grieving heart within?

Loki glanced up at the rigid face, the familiar golden locks, the blue, blue eyes.

'Now you see me, Brother.'

Thor walked up to the side of the cell. Loki's eyes followed him. Would his brother offer some comforting words now? Would he perhaps engulf him in his strong arms and sooth the hurt that was burning inside him like glowing ambers? He waited for Thor to speak. But his brother kept quiet.

'Did she suffer?' the question was torn from Loki's mouth. He was shocked at himself, dreading the answer. With bated breath he waited for the last blow to fall, for Thor to nod his head and confirm his worst fear.

But Thor did no such thing.

Now that he had a good view of his brother's face, Loki noticed something different about Thor. There was a steely glare in his brother's eyes, as if he wasn't the same carefree Thor that Loki used to know. This Thor was calculating and shrewd, and unforgiving – like Odin. So Loki couldn't say he was surprised by his brother's next words.

'I did not come here to share our grief. Instead I offer you the chance of a far richer sacrament.'

Yes. Thor _had_ changed. Gone was the soft-hearted brother of old. In his place stood a ruler, a cold, exacting leader who was not swayed by sentiment. Thor had grown up. Like his father. This should be interesting, thought Loki. A small smirk began to tug at his lips.

'Go on.'

TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL

 _To be continued…_

 _ **Please, please, please review! It helps me a lot to stay focused!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: Hello everyone! It's been long since I updated and I am truly sorry for that. Please don't be angry. Actually I was reluctant to put this beautiful journey to an end so quickly! I must thank all you lovely readers for your valuable support and encouragement throughout the course of the story..**_

 _ **A special thank you to x-Angelic-Demon-x, Magic111, Cooljoanna15, ImagiTheNation, karrade33, ashio and Uzofire for following and favouriting the story. Loads of love to you all! 3 3 3**_

 _ **So, this is the final chapter of the story. And I had cried two napkins to a pulp whilst writing this. Keep yours ready too.**_

 **Disclaimer:** **All original characters of the movie** _ **Thor**_ **are the express property of Marvel. I only own the story.**

 _ **Enjoy!**_

 **TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL**

 **Chapter Four**

'Nooooooooo!'

Loki could feel his eyes start to water as the rugged elfish blade sliced through his innards. He did his best to school his features into that of abhorrence and hate as his hands fumbled for the thing he was seeking. The hot, pungent breath of the Kurse whiffed over his face as the creature itself glared back at him.

There. It was done.

With another jerk, the blade was wrenched from him, sucking away all breath from his lungs. The pain was yet to come. He knew.

 _Your birthright was to die…_

 _Your birthright was to die…_

 _Your birthright was to die…_

With a thud that jarred through every inch of him, Loki fell to the hard, gravelly ground. His chest was on fire. He could sense the hot blood overflowing his palms and dripping into the dust of Svartalfheim.

Yet there was satisfaction. The joy of knowing that he had been able to do exactly what he had set out to accomplish—avenge his mother.

Loki tried taking a gulp of the musty air and struggled to pick up his head. His ribs tingled in protest. The beast was still standing there, the sword protruding from its chest.

'See you in Hel, monster,' he spat at the Kurse.

Then it hit him. Blinding pain. Like the punch of an ironclad fist. Or one of Thor's hammer-fells. All the air within his chest disappeared in a trice. Loki was oblivious to the frantic efforts of the Kurse to disengage itself from the black hole. He was too wrapped up in his agony.

The earth began to shake.

The next moment Loki was pulled up from the ground and cradled in a set of muscled arms. They were strong yet tender. Loki slowly opened his eyes. A pair of anguished blue eyes peered back at him.

'You fool! You didn't _listen_!' Thor's gruff voice set mild tremors through his chest.

The mighty Thor. Weeping like a child for the brother that had wanted to steal the throne from him.

Loki had a sudden urge to laugh.

How blind he had been. In his eagerness to find the treasure he sought he had neglected what true treasure he had right in front of his eyes. His family. He had lost his father because of his pride. He had lost his mother because of his stupidity and his inability to see the consequences of his rash actions. And now he was going to lose his brother as well. Because Loki had been foolish enough to covet what was never to be his.

'I know,' he gasped. 'I'm a fool…I'm a fool.'

Thor pulled him closer. 'Stay with me, okay?' he begged.

Loki gazed at his brother's face through the haze of pain. Was all this really necessary? Could the war have been prevented? Had he truly opened the gates to chaos by the sheer stupidity of his actions?

 _All because Loki wanted to be king…_

Pride. It had been his downfall. It had been all their downfall. Pride had compelled Thor to rashly attack the Jotuns. Pride had compelled the Allfather to take rash decisions. Pride had made _him_ act without thinking about the consequences. He had learnt his lesson when he had lost the one person he truly loved—his mother. And so he had swallowed his pride and agreed to help his brother in this hare-brained scheme.

Loki took another labored breath. The pain was there, pulsating and intense. He knew he did not have much time.

 _A king admits his mistakes…_

Yes. He must. He must atone for his crimes. He must prove to his mother that he is what she wanted him to be. Worthy of being her son.

'I'm sorry,' he rasped, struggling to form the next words. 'I m sorry…I'm sorry.'

 _I'm sorry for what happened to mother…I'm sorry for helping the Kurse… for destroying New York…for Jotunheim…for not being the brother you wanted me to be…_

There were millions of other things he wanted to apologise for. But there was little time. He was dying.

 _Your birthright was to die…_

Atleast he was fulfilling Father's statement. Loki had another insane urge to laugh.

Thor rocked him softly, shushing him. 'It's alright,' he crooned, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

The pain was gone now. Loki shivered. As if he was back in cold Jotunheim, breathing in the icy air.

'I'll tell Father what you did here today.' Thor's voice broke in.

Loki paused. Had he done this to impress Father? Did he still wish to redeem himself in the eyes of the Allfather? No. He did not. Those intentions appeared meaningless now.

'I didn't do it for him,' he said quietly. _I did it for you, Mother_ , he murmured in his mind. _For you and for Thor._

And his mother smiled through her tears, holding out her arms in that way she always used to. _Come, alskling_ , she soothed, her golden hair waving in the breeze, _it's time to go home_.

Loki slowly stretched out his fingers, trying to reach out to his mother. Frigga nodded encouragingly.

Their hands touched. And Loki suddenly felt lighter than air. All the pain and anguish was gone. It was over. He was free.

Frigga pulled him into a warm hug, rubbing his back in soothing circles.

'I'm so proud of you, son.'

Loki smiled into his mother's shoulder and drew in a breath. He was at peace.

TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL

Thor watched his little brother stretch his fingers slowly, as if trying to touch something. His face was not scrunched up in pain anymore. His eyes were unfocused. He was gazing into space, smiling softly.

'Loki! Brother, can you hear me?' he implored.

Loki did not respond. He took a soft heaving breath and closed his eyes. Then all was quiet.

Thor felt his heart stop.

'Loki!' he murmured. There was no response. Loki's hand lay limp at his side now. He looked like he had fallen asleep.

'Loki, brother!' Thor patted his cheeks. They were cold.

' _Loki!'_

But his brother did not answer.

'No no no, _please_. Look at me brother, look at me…LOKI!' Thor roared, clutching his little brother to his chest. 'Talk to me, Brother!' he whimpered, rocking his brother's limp form. 'Please!'

Yet he knew Loki would never talk again. He would no more taunt Thor or cause mischief. Loki was gone.

His little brother was dead.

TLTLTLTLTLTLTLTLTL

 _Whoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall posses the power of Thor…_

Nobody noticed the soft hum.

Nobody noticed Mjolnir twitch in the dust where it lay.

Nobody noticed it rise silently and speed towards a new master it had recognized.

And nobody noticed when it dropped in midflight, like a pebble in a pond.

 _Whoever holds this hammer,_ _ **if he be**_ _ **worthy**_ _, shall posses the power of Thor…_

Loki lay on the cursed ground of Svartalfheim, looking peacefully asleep, his handsome face relaxed and smiling.

Not knowing that he had finally achieved what he deeply desired in his heart.

Not knowing that he had proved himself.

That he was worthy.

At last.

 **~fin~**

 _ **Thank you, lovely readers! Hope you have enjoyed reading the story! If it is not much to ask, I would be really thrilled if you would provide your valuable comments about this tale I have spun. I will be back with another Loki fanfiction in the near future. Till then, love to you all!**_

 _ **Fairyflights.**_


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